Hate

I hate that he ruined our family.

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Hobosexual

Things I wish I knew back then.... I have just came across the term hobosexual. Meaning someone who is just in a relationship with someone to keep a roof over their head. Or uses another for accommodation, giving a false relationship in return. If housed him for 16 years! Twat that I am. I felt [...]

Deserving

I have truely now recognised that I deserve more. I deserve someone who cares. Someone who comforts. Someone who has emotional understanding. I thought he did care but it was just pretence. He wanted an easy life. I provided. Who provided for me? Who provided for my kids?  Me. That's why it matters to me [...]

Dilemma

There has been no contact between myself and my ex since January 2018. The last straw was when my children were not sent any Christmas presents even though he said in a message to my son that he'd posted them and they were on their way. This was a lie. It reminds me of the [...]

Wreckage

I keep flitting between anger and grief, rage and depression, wanting vengeance and hoping for an untimely accident to befall him. I have never experienced such undulating emotions. These last 2 years have been hell. Today would have been our 23 year anniversary... I am scared. Scared of his reaction, scared he'll come after me [...]