Horror

So, imagine my horror when I read texts from Bitch saying she loves him and misses him and can’t wait until he gets back from Iceland (the country, not the frozen food place! lol!) I went numb I froze yet I was trembling.  Shocked with disbelief. Sickness and horror washed over me.

I panicked.

It was morning and the kids were still at breakfast . I cam downstairs. Shaking. I’d been suffering from a urine infection for the past few days and I was in agony with it and kept feeling as if I needed to go pee.  Cystitis is no fun. I think I said to him, “I’d better not have caught anything because of you.”  “What’s been going on?”  I know about you and ******!” And his face fell. He didn’t deny or confirm it – he didn’t need to , he knew it was out there now.

We had hushed, heated discussions as the kids were about and kept wandering into the kitchen. I had to rush upstairs to go pee again and this time I lifted his phone and took it with me to the bathroom to read the texts properly. I sat down to pee and started to go through them – there was hundreds. I flicked through them but couldn’t really focus on the sentences – just words flashing by that stabbed my heart. He ws in love with her, she with him, desperate to see each other, arranging to meet, making plans around work commitments.

He must have known I was up to something as I heard him run upstairs and into the bedroom. Then he shouted out “Give me my phone!” “Where’s my phone?” He kicked the locked bathroom door open whilst I was sitting on the loo. I was shit scared he was going to hit me. He glared at me with eyes that were filled with rage and nastiness, desperation and terror. He snatched the phone off me. I was shaking and terrified. He was shagging the bitch we rented our flat to. Our old family home of 7 years. She was paying rent into my bank account…

{Ah, prostitute – he prostituted himself to Bitch and she paid me to sleep with him – as I wasn’t, considering we’d just had a baby and I was tired, traumatised and on edge and he never felt like doing it or showed any inclination or response for months. I think our baby girl was 9 months old before we had sex again. Even during my pregnancy he didn’t want it. Which would have been the perfect time to have sex based on the last time I was pregnant and we kept at it until I was too big. This pregnancy – nothing!  But the pregnancy had been horrendous. I was ill. Vomiting blood, dizzy, faint, thyroid worries. I was losing weight. I was ill and off work for 11 weeks at the start of my pregnancy. It was an awful experience. I’m glad my first pregnancy had been so enjoyable as I would have never ventured there again if they all felt like that one}

I’d read enough to know what I was dealing with. What a slime he was. At that point I had no idea how long it had been going on for. I’d had a few suspicions and concerns that I’d voiced and we’d talked about. Else I’d talk about and he then promised himself to be more careful!  I can’t remember the details of their texts but the main theme was loud and clear.

I had to start work at lunchtime. So I said goodbye to the kids and went to work. Except I didn’t. I went to our old flat to confront  the bitch, to tell her to get out, pack her things and fuck off. Except no-one was home!  So I sat in the car and went over what I could remember. He had said previously that she worked in a cafe. Her texts were full of arrangements about shifts and where she was working on what day. A word kept popping into my memory – ‘Rubus’. When reading the texts it didn’t make any sense to me. I thought Rubus may have been the name of her cat! Then it suddenly dawned on me – that’s the kind of shitty name a cafe might be called, so I Googled it. Bingo!  THere was a ‘Rubus’ cafe in the next town, a short commute by train – 2 or 3 stops away. I drove to the cafe…

Now when Bitch agreed to rent our flat it was he who suggested that Bitch might be interested, that she was looking for a place after divorcing from her husband.  Since he’d worked with her for a few years I thought she must be okay. I now since know that their ‘relationship, probably as friends, started a long time ago. No wonder another colleague who worked with them didn’t trust wither of them.

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