You may be wondering dear reader, how could a wife not notice her husband was having 2 affairs simultaneously?
A wife would NOT notice if she trusted her husband, if she believed what he said, if she took his word.
Why would anyone lie about what hours they were working, where they were working, who they were working with or meeting? Why would they need to? Why write it on the family calendar? To rub my nose it in? To laugh at how stupid I was and get one over on me? I honestly think he is more devious than he looks. The outer shell of forced respectability hides the inner personality which is a confused wee boy who wants some love from his mammy or another pair of breasts! The cheap thrill of the ego boost.
The key to his deceptions and the key to being a successful liar is to tell ‘half-truths’. Half-truths work on all levels – they sound plausible because they are based on reality, past experiences and nothing outlandish or implausible.
The lies can be introduced slowly. Lots of seed planting and devious long-term card playing and manipulation of truths. A partners deceit can also be easily missed when you are a tired mother to a new born, trying your hardest to breast feed successfully, deal with another child and keep a home running…
Nothing that comes out of his mouth wasn’t half-true. He WAS meeting Bitch for coffee on a Thursday afternoon when I was out at work until late evening. He DID bump into her in the park. He DID help her move into our flat. He WAS offering a job in ‘his cafe’. What the hell? Does he like bringing his prey home to rub my unsuspecting nose in it?
The more I write the more twisted and devious the whole thing seems. I have never viewed him as twisted or manipulating. I didn’t know he was a game player!
He was never away overnight unless he was away properly with work for perhaps 2 nights, 5 nights, or 9 nights, which didn’t happen that often. About once every 2-3 months. So all the times he said he was away working and painting the picture of being a decent hard working man. He wasn’t. What a dickhole!
It all seems fairly obvious now we have all compared dates and locations. Bitch, Slutface and I have all spoken, have now met each other, have all spoken at length, have talked on the phone for hours, have been to pub together. We’ve been texting each other, Facebook messaging etc. I do not sweep under the carpet. I confront and deal with. I lay it out there.
The only one who is not communicating and has not been talking is him!! The key player to it all and he is silent. He sent apologies to me, excuses to Bitch and tries his hardest to placate his mother (the other 4th woman in his life now) and keep Slutface sweet through various grovelling, manipulating and seductive tactics. Getting caught is when you really understand how badly things are messed up. A mess of your own making I’m afraid.
I can see it plain as day. If he thinks or thought he was being clever, then yes he was clever and capable & calculating & plotting and has an immense capacity for stress. His organisation & logistics were exemplary. It was like a military plan. Juggling our conversations, his appointments or various work roles. All thanks to the convenience of the smart phone. What a poker face. How did he keep us all sweet?