Suspicions

Every Thursday I worked late shift. Every Thursday he met Bitch it seems. I am so glad she turned up at my house that night. Her bravery meant I have been freed. Maybe she came round to claim him but I don’t think so. I think she realised what a fool she’d been. Slutface has still to come to this conclusion. It has not dawned on her yet. She is still giving him the benefit of the doubt. Even after all the evidence has been presented to her. ‘Love can conquer all’ – ‘you have to fight for your man & work on your relationship’. She is the same age I was when me and him first split. We did split for 8  or 9 months then I took him back. Why? I can’t remember! I must’ve loved him I guess. I was willing to give him another chance because we had a life together we had grown up together, we had amazing sex. Why wouldn’t I want him… It’s not as if he carried through with any of his promises to the first colleague I discovered he’d been shagging. Though he told me they hadn’t slept together. If they hadn’t slept together how come I got chlamydia after 7 years of being in a monogamous (as far as I was concerned) relationship.  What an idiot I was!

He did say once he had to go see Miss H as she was having trouble with her coil! and was bleeding! I went livid! How dare he go accompany her to see about something so intimate that he had no business being a shoulder to cry on. Either that was bull or else they were both getting treated for STD’s, or she was getting an abortion, or else it was true.  I did try calling her a few times and left voicemails (remember this was pre social media) I wrote her letters and emails looking for an explanation about what he had told her – again I didn’t blame her. It was all his doing for lulling her in to a false relationship.  At some point I will post my diary extracts from 2004 so you can see how then and now compares. Again, a lot of empty promises about moving away and wanting to be together. This time he had no choice but to move in with slutface. I am sure he probably moved in with Miss H back then as i remember reading emails to her saying he was now staying with a mate in Cathcart when actually we had patched up and he was back living with me. What a liar and I still took him back and three months later I was pregnant…

He has been using the same M.O. again but this time slightly more advanced and daring and did manage to go away with them on holiday whereas for Miss M it never got to flying off together – she flew off without him and he puppy doggedly kept in touch with her. He kept in touch with her for over four years! I had to battle every few months for him to put her down. I even up and left with our kid to get away. I think the shock of that did make it stop but I’ll never know. He used her influence to get a job in a cycle shop, to get into bikes, to dress his son in cycle caps – just like she did. To get into security and jobs on the doors? Perhaps? (I’m not sure of this one. ) A bit of a tomboy by all accounts. Just like me, just like Bitch perhaps and also Slutface. Confident women who he can bring down or damaged goods that he can use for his own ends?

He could have been doing similar for years. Do I need to know? No. Would I like to know – not sure. His tales mean nothing now. He could tell me that every year he had a new bit on the side and I wouldn’t know whether to believe him or not. To be honest I couldn’t care less now. What am I fighting for? Nothing. I don’t want him back.

Last week he told me he was leaving. That he had been ofered a job up north along with slutface (she had been looking to go home so it is no doubt her efforts that have brought this about – he has no other option but to go because he will not make an effort here for his kids even though he live a 5 minute walk away) His mind is sharp – too sharp but he sometimes can not see the bigger picture as he is too busy looking at the tiny details. He wants to be able to control things, to glue the pieces together – just like glueing his model airplanes together – that never get finished – he likes the shiney pictures on the boxes but very rarely carries through to completion… sound familar?

I am not cruelly slagging him because he has done me wrong. I am sure he could write a blog about my foibles but least my insecurities don’t’ damage any ones lives ( I hope..) (I hope I am always open and upfront enough that nothing gets to the point where I have to hide things to keep other people happy.) I am not going down that route.  This has indeed ramped up. I’m getting token bites from the bait he is laying but I have a funny feeling he is already gone. Lets see what tomorrow brings. Will he go or will he stay on Monday?? Hmmm….

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