Why Parental Alienation is the Act of an Emotionally Abusive Bully

And what if they have been alienating themselves from their children yet telling their new partner and parents that the mother has been denying them? What is they are so twisted in their victimhood even though they are the perpetrators? What if they never take responsibility for their own life and let everyone do the hard work for them? Like getting g their girlfriend to draft emails to make it look like they want to be a father again? I can’t make this stuff up. What if they are telling folk that they have been speaking to their child yet it is the child that had been contacting them via online messages? He says he’ll do things yet never does them. He was like that through most of our 20 years together…. I carried him and didn’t know it as he was always full of excuses and plausible reasons yet he takes my money, cheats on me, paints me to be a control freak. I had to control things like bank accounts, bills, children, cause he didn’t. He cooked and baby’s at and gave me sex now and again to keep me quiet. I now see her was hollow. He walked away from his children yet promised to put them first when we initially split. He lies to friends and family so easily. It is second nature. It is eye opening Reading your blog – just the gender has changed but with a more twisted slant. Thank you.


Justice is Blind-Family Court FolliesAre you and your ex going through a difficult divorce or break up? Do you worry that she or he is turning your child(ren) against you? Are you shocked and confused by how your once warm and affectionate relationship with your kid(s) has become distant and hostile?

Parental alienation is no joke. It’s a form of child abuse. The custodial parent is usually the mother and it’s typically the custodial parent who engages in parental alienation. However, there are men who also engage in parental alienation.

Original research found women to be the perpetrators of this abusive behavior in 90% of reported cases. Recent research indicates both genders equally engage in parental alienation. It’s difficult to know the exact figures because of under-reporting, false accusations and the positive bias toward mothers that’s rampant in most family courts.

Profile of Parental Alienation

Individuals who engage in parental alienation are like

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5 Stages of Letting Go of a Relationship with an Emotionally Abusive Woman


still rainingMany of my readers have expressed how difficult it is for them to let go of their relationships with emotionally abusive, Borderline and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder wives and girlfriends. Several men who were involved with these women refer to them as “monsters.” One man in particular (Run4TheHills) writes that he prays to get cancer everyday because his marriage is so bad. It goes to show how terrifying these women can be when the prospect of a terminal illness is more appealing than another 15 years of marriage or a cutthroat divorce process.

There seems to be two categories men with abusive exes fall into:

  1. Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty I am free at last! These men are able to recognize that their relationship wasn’t based on love, but upon control tactics (fear, shame, guilt), unmet emotional needs, dysfunctional dependency and projection. Once…

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Can a Relationship with a Narcissistic or Borderline Wife or Girlfriend Change your Personality?

I’m reading this thinking, oh my God! I suffered all of this but didn’t know it because my ex was a covert narcissistic pathological liar. He was so good at pretending it is difficult to unravel his insidious yet unnoticeable abuse because he was so practiced at hiding his real issues, not communicating his basic feelings that he projected all his insecurities and faults onto me. It now all makes sense in a fashion. It is hard to overcome as I now remember I am not a negative person, I was strong, I never needed him yet he used me and emotionally twisted everything to make me the needy one, the one who pays for everything because he doesn’t have enough money, the one who wanted another child yet he now turns round and said he never wanted to yet agreed to it at the time after much talking for years, the one who denied me sex and made me think it was my fault I wasn’t attractive enough, the one who pretended he was working yet was away on holiday abroad, the one who cried victim of abuse himself yet infects even worse pain on others, his own children included, the one who can now paint me as unhinged because I’ve reacted to his lies, deeds and cowardice! Help. It is sickening.


bitch 1Dear Dr. Tara,

Today, after 23 years in an abusive relationship with a woman suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, I find myself at a crossroads; leave now or live the rest of my life in misery. Sounds easy, but I, for the life of me cannot find the strength and courage to make the right decision, even though I clearly know what it is.

I have been in this abusive relationship for so long, I am no longer able to discern reality or normalcy. I live in such an evil, chaotic environment, that I can’t think straight. Thanks to you and your website, I finally have the answers to the unknowns that have haunted me for 20 years. Knowledge is power and you have given me the power I need.

I asked my parents to read the blogs as well to assist with their understanding, as they may be involved…

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“But They Didn’t Hit Me” – Narcissistic Abuse IS Domestic Abuse

After Narcissistic Abuse


This is a topic that comes up frequently.The target’s lack of ability to recognize that the narcissist’s treatment of us is abusive.  October is domestic violence/abuse awareness month. Many lay people believe that domestic violence is only those actions that involve the physical abuse of an intimate partner.

For those of us who have been physically abused by anyone, we can tell you that if you remove the physical abuse from the relationship, what remains, are a number of other abusive behaviors: psychological, emotional, verbal, spiritual, financial, legal and sexual that continue to occur long after the physical abuse has ceased. The general lack of physical lashing out by a narcissist (probably only to protect their own court records or reputation criminally/socially, etc.) does NOT mean that abuse is not happening.

Let’s define abuse to remove any doubt.  Domestic abuse  is a pattern of behavior which involves the perpetration of power &…

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Why Are Narcissists Are So Dangerous?

Exactly. Described perfectly.

After Narcissistic Abuse

As you’ll read below, every survivor describes narcissists in DANGEROUS terms. Each person that’s been victimized personally by a narcissist will warn you and serve as a cautionary tale that if you welcome a narcissist into your life, you’re dancing with the devil; welcoming them in to do one thing and one thing only to you: use, abuse and destroy you.

Many onlookers or those who haven’t experienced the narcissist in an unmasked state have a hard time believing that the people we describe and the horrendous acts of abuse committed on us were done by the very people they have a different opinion of. They don’t understand the disordered’s modus operandi. They don’t understand that their belief that the narcissist is a “likeable or admirable” character is evidence that the danger has already started, they’re manipulated by the narcissist’s “mask” and they’re in complete denial of reality.

There are…

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The Devastation of the Illusion — Knowing the Narcissist

You fell in love with an illusion. You fell hard and deep for something which never existed. The golden days that we created together were the twisted reflections of my manipulative hold over you. I know how anxious you were to try to recover the golden period. You poured your beautiful heart into securing the…

via The Devastation of the Illusion — Knowing the Narcissist

How Isolation and Loneliness Hurt Anxiety

Fighting for a Future

This is a follow on article from The Perils of Social Isolation in which I explored the pitfalls of isolation and loneliness and just what they were. This article offers solutions on how to combat those pitfalls to avoid the subsequent anxiety brought on by isolation or whichever comes first. It’s a real conundrum, isn’t it? Which comes first the chicken or the egg !!!!

I just need some time alone.” This is one of the most common phrases that those with anxiety say when they experience severe anxiety or stress. It’s also one of the most incorrect statements about how to deal with anxiety.Isolation, loneliness, and simply not conversing with others can have a profoundly negative effect on anxiety, in a way that few people even realise.

This article will explore the problems with being alone and why ensuring some type of social atmosphere is important for controlling anxiety.

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