Well, I have not written in a while…. I’ve had no time or energy to. Life as a single mum of two kids is in full swing. I had to be signed off work for a while as it was all just too much. Stress, work, school holidays, lawyers, banks, family issues, lack of communication from Mr Arsehole… They all took their toll. They are still taking their toll but I am now at a possible 85% contentment/getting my shit sorted ratio! I still cry everyday but it is not as overwhelming. We are 10 months since D-day.
Whenever I have a weak moment and feel the pangs of love for him kick in I try to remember all he has done. I think I am addicted to the feeling of him, the space he has left, the hole in my heart that I just want to patch and triage to stop it bleeding anymore… But it needs major surgery. It needs pulled out, disconnected and jumped started!
I am still appalled by the disrespect shown. It may be disrespectful to plaster my business over the Internet, to out his deeds on Facebook, to write this blog but remember… I am doing this anonymously. I am now writing about my life and my issues. I own this story. He handed it to me on a plate. I didn’t even know I was a character in his twisted plot line until I uncovered it for myself. The character traits, back story, location and plot lines he gave me and told the other women about me were pure fabrication so why shouldn’t I now write the truth? Why shouldn’t I clear my mind of the shit he has dumped in it?
Speaking of dumping shit: this week I delivered all the left over catering equipment back to Bitch (cheetoh number one!) It had been in the garage all this time – nearly two years and I wanted rid. Every time I looked at it it reminded me of the deceit! The plotting and planning. Them sleeping together whilst supposedly working. Him not telling me she was going with him/helping him. It must have been going on longer than I thought, they’d worked together for years previous… And then he flaunts her under my nose, moves her into my old home… Well who’s laughing now. She can have the fucking bowls and serving dishes complete with spider shit and slugs!
Least her business is doing well… Did I tell you she took it on herself (in partnership with another woman) for that I admire her. It was all her idea in the first place he just tagged along and made out to me he was the ideas man and so successful, using my fucking money!
So whenever I have a lapse moment. A for the sake of the kids, should I take him back moment, I go over in my head all the things he has done, all the chances he took and the decisions he made that should have signalled to him to stop. To not forge ahead as the only outcome was going to be a shit fest at some point. My whole life is a shit fest now… 😉 His certainly is. I hear he doesn’t even have a bathroom in the shitty caravan he is living in at the bottom of slutface’s parents garden in the back of beyond.
Let’s list the crap he has done just to solidify and express the utter contempt he must have felt for me and his family:
Cheated on me, his partner of 21 years, with our tenant. So was shagging her in our old family home!
Went abroad with Bitch (tenant) without, obviously telling me or kids. Tells us and rest of family he was away working.
I gave him £6k to buy a cafe with Bitch!
I co-signed a joint loan for £12k for ‘business start up costs’. More like paying off his debts, booking flights and hotels, drinking money, drug money, buying his slags’ gifts, making up for the wages he wasn’t earning….
Was shagging slutface in his work and after work, persuaded her to move closer to us, to our town… Aye, to make it more convenient for him to walk in a triangle from one shag pad to another.
I thought he was “different”. He used to pride himself and reassure me how he wasn’t interested in younger women, with their stupid make up, mad eyebrows and long hair… He’s now shacked up with ‘little miss 12 years his junior’!
He played the family man card, and was a fuckin’ scout leader! Yet he jeopardised all that to put his dick in a bit of strange! Bravo! “Think of the children!”
Lied to his mates about having a ‘catering truck’.
Lied to his mates and colleagues and slags that he could drive.
Lied about his father and family “origins”. Lied about the supposed death of his father… This is a biggie to me. He couldn’t trust me with his own truth. It runs deep this one. I would have empathised and understood. My compassion is great but he never ‘trusted’ me….
Lied to his kids about where he is staying. Hasn’t said anything to them about where or why he has moved 100 miles away. Leaving all of that up to me to explain. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to fuckin’ do. But I ain’t covering his arse for him in that respect. Fine line.
Took £5k of a mate for starting business.
Took £5k off another mate.
Stole my unworn Dr marten boots to give to slutface for Christmas. Pathetic! The warped mind…. She is walking in my shoes! Well come be a mother to my children too then!! This act speaks volumes in so many ways! One of the most hurtful in fact. His gift to me repatriated for his next victim! Despicable!
Never paid rent or bills in his life!
Has abandoned and discarded his children. Not seen them properly since January.
Abandoned all his possessions ie left them here.
Also went abroad with 2nd slag, slutface, to same destination he went to with first, and with us as a family.
Went on a jolly to Manchester with slutface telling his family he was working a music festival.
Didn’t earn any decent money for over a year. Too busy shagging part time.
Buying the same items for this home as he did for the business, as he did for Bitch, as he did for slutface and continues to do so.
Told folk I had left him, was living with my parents and he was a single dad.
Had each slut round in my house whilst I was at work and my children slept upstairs.
Took my baby to meet with these other women whilst I was at work.
Allowed the 1st slag to stay over whilst I was away with my eldest child. Apparently the three of them slept together (like a family) on the fold down bed downstairs…. What the hell!!
He lied when at the initial week of confronting him about cheating with number 1,i asked if there was anything else he wanted to tell me… I knew about 2nd slag but didn’t tell him. “No nothing. It’s just Bitch. I fell in love with her. It started….” Wrong date he gave me…
Is this enough of a list. Enough of a betrayal? Enough to make me realise he doesn’t deserve me and never did. I dragged his sorry ass along behind me for years. He was just their for the ride.
It was a good ride. He paid me off in sex! That’s all it comes down to. Dick. Hole. Switch off any real emotions.
Wow! That was cathartic. Now to hit publish!
I’d like to thank chumplady.com for gilding my balls in how to approach this level of fucked-uppery! Brilliant website!